Football post… suck it up.

Yes. I like football (soccer for my fellow citizens).  It is not all that philosophical.. but it is important to me, and it’s the world cup, where almost the entire world gets together to focus on a bunch of hairless apes running around on the grass excercising their meat in often fabulous displays of atheletic ability.

Anyway–I’m pretty pleased that my two favorite teams made it through today.  Germany made it through like they have for, like, forever, and the USA pulled it out in an amazing goal in stoppage time.  Overall I’m not displeased at any of the teams that have made it to the round of 16.  My reactions to the various groups are:

A1: Uruguay–not a fan, but also happy they’ve finally made it after so long..
A2: Mexico–I like the Mexicans–and am a supporter of North American teamsmaking it..
A*–Bonus is that France got knocked out and sent home in shame. Righteous!

B1: Argentina–who didn’t see that coming
B2: South Korea–they play interesting soccer–so that’s cool

C1: USA- AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!
C2: England–BAH! (my inner German and Irishman are less pleased–but my American self is pleased that they defeated Slovenia, so the US could take #1 in the group.. )

D1: Deutschland–YES! I’ve been a big fan of Die Mannschaft since I was like 10..  My favorite team
D2: Ghana–they play some good soccer–so that’s cool.

Now.. for the rest of the matches–Here’s what I think will happen–and I’ll note any places where I’d prefer a different result..

E1: Netherlands–I think it’s more likely that the Dutch will all become puritans than that they will lose their first place standing in this group (and I’m betting they beat or at least tie Cameroon)…
E2:  Japan–I think that because the Japanese merely need to tie, whereas the Danes have to win–this will go to the Japanese. However, I’d rather see the Danes get in..

F1: Paraguay–They’ve been playing well and unless they totally flub this (lose), with a tie–they’re in the next round and in first place unless Italy decides to actually play some soccer–which hasn’t happened yet.
F2: Italy–As much as I hate to admit it–I think the Italians will grab this spot. I do think they will do it in the lamest way possible–such as tying Slovakia while Paraguay wins.  In which case, they would be the first team (out of all that I’ve mentioned) that got in with just 3 points. Lame. Of course, maybe they’ll win and actually make a run of it.. they do start slow–(but OMG have they been playing cruddy football…)

G1: Brazil–there was less question about this than Argentina in my book
G2: Portugal–Even if they lose to Brazil, the Ivory Coast would have to beat North Korea by a ton, and they don’t look that good..

H: This is seriously the hardest group to call at the moment–it is like a second death group (Group D was the other death group..) Here are my tentative guesses…
H1: Chile
H2: Switzerland (I’m swiss, so I’m probably biased here…)
Now–here are the possible results so that you can see my thinking:
1) Chile Wins (not unlikely), Honduras wins(EXTREMELY unlikely)–this case could put Spain in the H2 slot depending on goal differential—but that’s very iffy..
2) Chile wins, Honduras/Switz tie–then my picks go through
3) Chile wins, Switz win (likely)–then my picks go through
4) Chile and Spain tie (not unlikely), and Honduras wins (not likely) then spain gets H2
5) Chile/Spain tie, Switz/Honduras tie–then I think spain gets through on goal differential–but perhaps I’m wrong and head to head match-up counts?<–this is the situation most likely to fuck up my pics
6) Chile/Spain tie, Swiss win–my situation is true
7)Spain wins, Honduras wins–then it would be H1:Spain H2: Chile or the reverse depending on goal differentials
8)Spain wins, Swiss/Honduras tie–again Spain/Chile move on depending with position depending on goal differentials
9) Spain wins, Swiss win–THEN IT GETS ALL FUCKED UP.. because depending on the goal differentials it could be any 2 of spain, switz, or Chile… in any order..

Okay–going with what I have.. then my much more tentative picks for the Round of 8 are:

Uruguay
Argentina
USA
Germany
Netherlands
Paraguay
Brazil
Portugal

I do think that the places where I’m most likely to be wrong are the USA (because Ghana is good), Germany (because I’m biased and England can find itself) and the Portugal/Chile (if that even comes about with either team) could go either way.

From there–I’d rather hold off.. because it just gets too speculative.

Aww, fuck it. Here’s what I’d want to happen:

USA vs Netherlands
Germany vs Portugal
then
USA vs Germany
then
I don’t care..

Chances of this happening in my book–1%..

Here’s what I think will happen
Uruguay vs Brazil
Argentina vs Port–although Chile could also be here, in which case you could have a world cup finals and runner up contests all from South America and from the Southern end of it at that..
then

Brazil vs Argentina
Argentina

But hopefully I’m wrong here..
We’ll just have to see how it goes down..

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About Prof. Woland

I contain multitudes. Come meet us.
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